I have to admit that, among my early titles, Lucy was one of my favorite characters. I’m not saying that I’d have liked to have her as a friend, but I thought she was interesting and unconventional. She knew a lot about ancient Roman and Greek penises. And she had to say plenty about erotic art.
Just in case you want to do any more research on Sheela Na Gigs, I would recommend you click here. Incidentally, I did make one mistake in the story and I hereby issue a formal retraction: I suggested the Lady Abbess of Romsey was depicted as a Sheela Na Gig. Recent scholarship has decided pretty firmly that the Lady Abbess was posing next to her potty – just to prove she was human and, like the rest of us, had to pee sometime.
Here's the storyline:
Sarah is broke, and makes a crazy decision to supplement her income by offering her body to a stranger one evening. She is rescued by a former co-worker, who provides her with a route out of her financial problems - and, at the same time, becomes her lover. Things get out-of-hand when she meets his larger-than-life house-guest, who wants a menage with her and her hero. How can she get rid of this cuckoo in the love-nest she wants to build?
“I’m so pleased that everything is working out all right for you now,” Jack said.
“Everything... apart from trying to get rid of that pervert Tom,” I replied.
“Pervert?” Lucy looked up from her menu. “That sounds interesting. What is all this about?”
In a low voice, so that nobody on a neighbouring table could listen, I took a deep breath and told her about Tom - how we first met, what he had made me do, and how he had continued to pester me.
Lucy broke into hysterical laughter; she did try to muffle her noise behind her hand.
“My dear Sarah, that’s a fantastic tale! I’ve never heard anything so funny!”
“It’s not funny. He keeps coming round the bank. If I don’t go and perform for him on Monday evening, he’ll be round at the bank the following morning to humiliate me in front of everybody.”
“So you need to humiliate him on Monday night. That will put an end to it. I have an idea. I’d like to help you.” She grew excited. “Can I help? Please? What time does he want to see you?”
“What do you have you in mind, Lucy?” Jack asked, and then turned to warn me. “Sarah, beware of Lucy. She’s devious.”
“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Jack. I want to help Sarah. To make up for this morning. I was horrid to you.”
“All right, Lucy. I’m listening.”
“You meet this Tom character, and take him to where you went last time – your performance area, if you like – and I shall be there in the dark, pretending to walk my dog.”
“You don’t have a dog,” said Jack. “Are you going to get someone to lend you one?”
“I don’t need one, silly. I have a dog collar in my sex toy collection, and a lead, and I can pretend that I’ve taken it off my dog so he can have a run in the park.”
“Enter Lucy, Stage Right, calling my dog, and I catch him pleasuring himself. I am so disgusted and appalled at his action that I get out my digital camera and take pictures - making sure that his genitals are clear enough in the shots. And I have to make sure that you’re not in camera range, Sarah. So you’ll have to climb off him pretty quickly. Then I tell him to stop harassing you, or we take the pictures to the newspapers.”
Jack and I smiled at each other. “Well, Lucy, we have to give you full marks for imagination!”
“But how can we be sure it’ll work?” I asked.
“Trust me. I shall not fail you.”
More again soon!
email: rc (at) rachelcray (dot) com